Friday, January 28, 2011

Reasoning, Resolution, Retreating, and Rejuvination

"Its been awhile since we last talked but I have been following your post.. well as time permitted. : ) But I wanted to say I wish you the best of luck with your move. I know you have had a major struggles over the last year or so. It will get better... never give up. I hope you get settled back in and have a wonderful life for you and your daughter. From what I have read you are one strong woman that doesn't let life get in her way! Keep in touch and I wish you the best of luck. Take Care. : )" ~JS

So Sweet to read, from a childhood and lifelong, friend.

Many believe it was my choosing to leave, but that was not so. But to seek solace in a distressing time, from wherever I saw fit for our (my girl and I) life. Our needs were many, and God supplied them. Brought people into and out of our lives who were tremendously kind. Some were vulture's seeking us...and the ones who we called family were self absorbed.

I am keeping in my heart that there is good in some bad people, and bad in many good people. And that God uses it all to direct my paths. We are now complete in our peace of knowing..."it's not me. Never did I deserve what happened to me." But, honestly, all my life I had questions that hampered my progress in life. It is the truth that set me free this year. My family had been pushed, also...by my co workers and friends...to have resolution/closure. Never did I see my father, but I do know he loves me. My mother and sister never tried to resolve anything, but to hold fast to the lies of the past and keep digging them in deeper. My cousins rallied and informed me of many of the secrets, I had never known. But, the answers were so painful as to why we were all separated, and it wasn't me. Honestly, the truth made my father and even more awesome man. However, never should he have had to compromise his love, the bond, that we had...for my mother and sisters love. I move on and leave them with their hard work of keeping secrets/lies. I am moving on into my life of continued truth...even if it hurts me, or others.

I am who I am. I am totally, good. I love me, more, for keeping love in my heart, even while going through such a dark hell. I was tested!!! : )

It a time of rejuvenation! And a time of appreciation.

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