Josh Whites,"Red River Blues" :)

I need love...

I need a huge hug.
I need sincereness and not flattery.
I need long nice of melting into a man and just being free.
I need to feel beautiful, again.
I need fun.
I need a friend...who I don't have to explain how good of a person i am.
I need a man who can handle me...my personality, and the fact I have a family...(most of them have one too...duh)
And I need foot rubs, back rubs, front rubs, and inside rubs.
I need kisses.
I need to talk about anything.
I need to be trusted.
I need someone who wants to talk to me.
I need to touch a man, a good man.
I need to kiss, rub, and nurture a good man.
I need sex raunchy sex at least 2x a week. I am not talking about 'making love'.
I need to have my freedom to be me!
I need some man who will be himself with me all of the time.
I need to pamper and be pampered, but not all of the time.
I need a man who will love me, and be a roll model to my daughter like a father.

1984 Class Reunion

October 10,2009 I am going to celebrate my 25 year class reunion. It will be the first I have ever attended. It will be close to my daughter. And in the season I love to be in most...The Fall!
So, I am excited to call my friend and see if I can stay with her. It's amazing that we are still friends for all of these years.
I miss you Cathy. I can't wait for you to see my girls. I can't wait to laugh with you.
I have a detailed and complex trip to plan...if or if not, to return to Maui. If not...I just need to job hunt and resettle somewhere else. It's all happening in just these two days.
Sometimes when things are meant to be lifechanging...this is how it starts.

This week I didn't work. Well, I did work on my closet, and did laundry. I wasn't so motivated to stay inside and hang paintings or decorate. I didn't feel like folding clothing, and vacuuming.

I felt like walking, talking, and hugging a bit this week.
I wanted to be a part of the community.
Well, now I realize why I work so much purposely.
So, work begins tomorrow. I have a tan. And Saturday, I will go hike with my daughter. Paint with my daughter. And clean each room and decorate the condo with my daughter.
I thought I was missing something 'out there' when I had the world at home. I have the 'life'. So, I am going to starting 'entertaining' my family. What a burden to have lifted from my shoulders.
All I need is the air, the sun, and my daughters. And to save for vacations to great places in the US or in Europe. I have the clients,friends,and family I need. They just can't be here with me. They are in my heart.
I don't need anythong more than what I have already. I just need to embrace it a bit more.
So, this I know for a fact.
Moving off this island would only bring me closer to those people in my life, already. :)

Sedona is calling me.
I have missed Arizona since I stayed a few days there in "03. I never wanted to leave. And truly, I had no place to go. My belongings were already in a truck, and I had been offerred a job cleaning at a hotel.
I should have stayed. It was so peaceful. It was a simple way of life.
I saw this song, and it is perfect for me. It's a goal for me.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=173521738

Not Asian and Have Kids....

Many men move to Hawaii. Gay or straight to meet and Asian, polynesian companian.
Well, perfect for the Irish/Indian Dutch girl who happened to move her single heterosexual self here.
Now what?
I have had the weirdest interactions. If I was truly attracted to short filapino men...or the tattoo'd pigeon speaking locals who cook sticky rice all day. I would be fine. But, truly. I am not.
Here's to Me loving me.
And to all the miserable married white guys who can't get divorced from their mail order brides and wish they had someone just like me.
Whoop-D-doo!

When do I start working again?